Hell

…in a hand basket . That’s where I’m going and how I’m getting there for almost falling from my office chair in bust-a-gut laugther after seeing this photo in the stuff black people hate facebook group. I almost died. And it’s the devil’s fault.

You know that cake that people are always talking about? Yeah this right here…takes it.

As a matter of fact…

…So does this classic Youtube video.

Eh….I could go on a long spiel about Jesus and the Bible and how I feel about the two but…no. I fear I’ve Blasphemed enough for the day. I should probably stay on the Lord’s good side since I’ve been doing you know…soul searching and shit. Maybe some other time.

*looks up*

Aww…don’t smite at me like that, God. *blows you a kiss*

You know I was just playin’. We cool?

That’s wassup.

Badu can do…

…whatever the hell she wants.

And that includes making as many ashy black babies as she desires with as many rappers as she decides to wrap within her magical vaginal clutch. Badu can do because she is the dopest. It’s that simple.

roll it.

“How dare you disrespect the Queendom…and my children and my intelligence…” – E baby.

She had to get up into some fans’ ass canals about their mouthing off about her recent pregnancy. Third baby. Third Baby daddy.

um…what the fuck is this? The Reagan administration?

If Erykah’s guilty for being a fertile human being, let’s put on trial the countless numbers of male entertainers guilty of shooting their soldiers up into the birthing trenches of so many women that it may be hard to even count the number of kicking bastard feti.

It has been said that Flavor fucking Flav has like…10 children yet it’s somehow still socially acceptable for him to bunk with 15 different women at one time on national television.

What angers me more though, is the fact that the strongest critics of Eyrkah’s decision were probably other women. I have never understood and never think I will understand some women’s opposition to female social and personal liberation. My friend and I were discussing something of this nature waiting in a hair salon on U street today:

Girls who, in the presence of a man, will advocate his sexist male perspective even though it directly contradicts female progressiveness¹ are really fucking annoying and are probably in need of some serious “I love me” time in a corner.

Like…in a heated discussion about the gratuitous presence of nameless, giggling, pool side black asses that permeate throughout so many misogynous rap videos, she takes the side of the fellow…justifying this act with something like:

1.) No one made those women shake their ass in front of that camera. [which I can agree with. But, I do not feel it's a qualified rebuttal to the debate, for it only leads to an ever going back and forth blame game between the two quarreling parties] or even…
2.) Yeah…but the beat is so hot. [Which is just retarded].

-scratches head-

It’s funny² how women always harbor the negative stigma and the brunt of criminal punishment for acts like prostitution (only 10 percent of those arrested for participation in prostitution are the patrons)  and stripping when if it weren’t for men and their shameless, ravenously,  gluttonous, and misogynistic sexual desires, there wouldn’t be such a lucrative industry. It takes two to tango, my friends. Women, like men, sell sex for the capital…and simply play different roles [but society has always had a problem with women who get theirs].
See…the problem lies in the fact that the hot money ticket is in the dehumanization, commodification, and hyper-sexualization of the female body…due to culture’s sense of entitlement to it.

i.e. “All I see is pussy, titties, and the ass.”
-Lil Wayne in Ask Them Hoes
and
“I feel like there’s still bitches that owe me sex.”
-Kanye West in Put On
[and these are apparently two of the hottest rappers in the "game" or whatever.]
*rolls eyes really hard in frustration*

Anyway…

I don’t want to hear another m-flicking word about ole girl. She has the financial means, the functioning ovaries, and wants another fucking baby. So what’s the issue? The world should be sending Badizle thank yous for all of the unborn potential inherited artistic illness. In fact…

1800 flowers is the number.

¹in this case, progressiveness refers to the womans battle for the right to do as she pleases with her body without it being criticized by others simply because she harbors a [glorious and penetrable] vagina between her thighs.
²funny actually = totally fucked up and really asinine

why I can say it…and you can’t…

7/18/08

See…

nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

*glares at you and dares you to*

*notes your silence*

That’s what I thought.

White people know exactly why they can’t say it while black people are allowed to yell it from any and all mountain tops as it ever so pleases them.
…but they just loooooooove to play it silly on the simple.

Look…I’m “down” [for lack of a hipper word] and you aren’t.

["down", in this case, is synonymous with "black" but in some rare cases may include individuals of other ethnicities. ...but even more rarely includes white people. nope...not even Eminem. ...actually...especially not Eminem.]

1.) I agree with Whoopi. Black people have taken a word that has been used to degrade, hate, and distinguish us for so long…and we now have declared to other races, “this is my word and you can no longer use it to piss me off…and it’s going to make you cry and whine on national television because you can’t have it…”

I noticed there was a quick burst of laughter when Whoopi asked Elizabeth [the white woman who isn't Martha Stewart¹] why, if she claims she would never say it, she insisted on debating it. I’ve always wondered this same thing about these people. This phenomenon really just baffles me. …just leave it alone then.

Anyhoot…

I think Sheri [the black woman who isn't Whoopi] was trying to touch on the why when she went on about black family:

2.) You can’t say it because you, in your un-downness, are incapable of removing the connotative blackness from the word nigger…and yes, even his cousin “nigga.” ..and there is a difference.

[I haven't met a black person to this day who pronounces the "er" ...unless they're imitating someone who isn't black. See how that works?]

Unlike the word down, the word nigger is not synonymous with the word black.

When I use nigger, which is actually pretty rare, it has absolutely nothing to do with the color of the subject’s skin but, yes…the content of his character. eh…or just his being there.

But not his skin.

example:

I’m driving and, in all of my impatience, I am rather pissed that this heavy, balding, white man on his cell phone in front of me is walking…[rather lagging. I mean...really moseying] across the street, oblivious to the fact that his little red hand signal has long ago ceased its flashing and my light is now green…meaning I should be pressing forward towards my destination. In frustration, I may cry out something like:

“Man, this nigga needs to move the fuck on.” or…
“Man, what the fuck is this nigga doing?” or…
“Damn, Nigga. What the fuck, man? Shit.”

I google imaged “road rage” and found this before I found a black person.
Cat privilege at its finest.

Nigger is usually only present in the typical white person’s vocabulary when a black person is on the mind or around…and hardly ever when there’s is no brown to be found…and therein lies the problem…
and therein lies the reason white people should just shut the fuck up about it. It no longer has anything to do with you. You’re privileges [in this case] have been revoked.

anyway

I entered the debate with a cohort of mine once. He almost said nigger. Almost…like the n and i came out…but he knew what was up with that g. Then he goes, “Well, you just said it, Why can’t I?”

That would be like being repeatedly stabbed at by a person…getting sliced in the arms and legs while you try to get away…then getting tired of the running and the bullshit so you fight back…then you’re stabber starts to ease up out of weakness…and then out moral consciousness starts to realize “hey maybe I shouldn’t be stabbing this person for no reason but greed and malice.”…and during their wonderments of ethics and righteousness you grab the knife from them and put it in your pocket…you know, just to stop that annoying stabbing and lashing…you’re not even stabbing them back or anything…but then, they’re like…”If you can have the knife, why can’t I have the knife?” smh.

Some might say we should throw the knife away or, if you’re the NAACP, bury it. <-pointless pseudo-activist symbolism. But since the word nigger isn’t an actual concrete object, trying to destroy it is a pretty fucking retarded idea.

Some might say that using the word nigger is the equivalent of turning the knife around and stabbing ourselves repeatedly. Eh. could be. But I say it’s like…whipping it around like a samurai sword when necessary and looking totally awesome and  exclusive…yet…a little silly.

Ninja, please!

eh.

As for black rappers and comedians who throw it betwixt every other phrase…
I do not feel you.
…and I don’t see it as a term of endearment.
It’s more masculine connotation may be the reason I don’t get the whole…”My niggas” “My dogs” thing.

*shrugs* as long as the caucasoid ain’t using it.

¹Apparently, all old white women are the same to me since, clearly, that’ is NOT Martha Stewart…but indeed Barbara Walters. lol.

…that’s how I treat ‘em

7/15/08

You know what I hate?

Crack heads.

And not because they scramble across the street swinging and chasing after each other over 5 dollars on Georgia Ave in the morning. Or because in the scrap, one crack head’s soggy, dingy red tank top sleeve is torn by the other to reveal her even soggier and dingier crack head left titty. …that’s the awesome part.

What I hate about crack heads is the 7 police cars that follow in response to the weaponless crack head altercation. 7 pistol toting, traffic blocking, U turning in the intersection, almost crashing into my car, looking at me like I’m crazy as he cuts me off although I hear nary a police siren nor see nary a police light…and in fact, neither see him in his lack of vehicular cautiousness…assholes.

“Honestly officer, I sincerely thought you were just passing by to patrol another part of this homicide ridden neighborhood seeing that you are obviously no longer needed here, given the 6 other police cars catering to this, again, weaponless 2 party crack head quarrel. I do apologize. Use your siren next time.”

I really do hate the way the law around here feels no need to abide by traffic regulations. I mean c’mon…I should have the right, as a citizen, to ticket any law enforcement officer who decides to stop traffic on any given avenue by sounding their siren to move across…only to turn it off when they’ve reached the other side.

I hate police officers most of the time.

Which reminds me of the only non traffic related altercation I had with one of those fuckers involving my door, school children, and the yelling of homosexual slurs.

These little pre-pubescent fuck twats came knocking on my door daily…harassing me. Asking me questions about my dog. And my this. and my that. I obliged…at first. It got annoying as their questions got more personal…and when they started writing stupid shit like “(so and so) fucked (so and so)” on my dirty picket fence. I dodged them as best I could until one day I just told them I was gay in response to their questions about my “boyish” appearance.

[Must have been the baggy sweatpants that always fell from my ass. Those were some lazy days.]

Why I told them this? To shut them up? For kicks? Who knows? Because they were little assholes who were repeatedly cursing at me…and who cursed at me again when I told them to watch their mouths?
I thought they could handle a little gay humor in their “I’m grown-ness”.
I was wrong.
This ended with a herd of them pointing and bouncing at my my front yard chanting “She’s a dyke! She’s a dyke!” at the top of their squeaking cunt kid lungs.

It was kind of funny at first, honestly, until some pig piece of shit cop came up to me a little later. Using that i’m-a-mean-bad-ass-police tone with me and threatening to cite me for “provoking” the stupid fuckers even after I informed him of their vicious slanderous tirades and disrespectful dispositions (what kind of retard fucking citation could I get for that, anyway?).

“They’re children.” he said.
Yes they are, the same children who threw a brick through a car window in my backyard and possibly stole my first dog.

[eh...maybe he ran away.]

I was livid.

So livid.

eh…I guess I could channel my angers at the children…but, they are the future.
And I could hate the pointless parent who obviously haven’t been laying a much needed tree switch to some tiny black child’s tail…but I don’t feel like it.

So I hate the officer for being retarded enough to come to my door fucking with me about the incorrigible young ones of my community.

And also for giving me speeding tickets…

…Fuck the police. That’s how I treat ‘em.

Wanted

7/8/08

I saw Wanted last night…

The worst.

There should be a strict limit to the number of close up shots of bullets exploding through a human skull in a movie. And it should be zero.

[no really tho...I admit that I cover my eyes on most of the "scary parts" of movies, but watching this white boy being repeatedly pummeled in the face and stabbed in the stomach...in a motherfucking montage...almost brought me to tears. What kind of demented fuck holes make this shit up?].

I really just don’t understand people’s draw to blood, killing, and ass whippings. Escapism? …but why escape to a place more gruesome than reality? Entertainment? What is this obsession? It amazes me that the number of blows to the head so greatly supersedes the number of pelvic thrusts allowed in a film before it receives and NC17 rating. When did sexuality become more harmful to the public than violence? When will obscenity be reevaluated?

Eh. I don’t know if it’s just this country, cause i’ve haven’t consumed too much international media…

[except for that one trip to London and Paris I took in my tender 13th year. I glanced up at the television from the floor of a hotel room at two huge perky pink nippled tits on some busty white broad. It was bright as the morning out and this was on broadcast television...and forever etched in my memory. Oh and BBC documentaries which often don't blur out the penises.]

…but America seems to glorify and embrace the most grotesque aspects of human existence all too often…

…it’s so inauthentic, hyper-masculine, sexually repressed, blood thirsty, death craving…

I’m pretty sure other countries are quite hip to the death game too, though.

It just feels like we haven’t grown the way we should have by now as human beings. And I can’t tell if it’s actually getting worse or if i’m just more aware and sensitive…and damn pissed off.

…made a switch…

from blogger.

So I will put the original dates of the first four posts at the top of each in … hmm … purple. [although it's my least favorite color of the rainbow.]

That is all,

Mngmnt.